So I've had a few beers.

Today was hard, up and down like all the others in recent days. I felt myself slipping back into writers mode, which I had been doing on and off for a few days, getting bits and pieces here and there. It usually happens when I spend 5-10 hrs straight painting, it's as though my brain goes into overload with all the imagery that it starts to put everything into words. I guess I'm doubly blessed like that. So I did start a new story. It's non fiction and it's in the rough stages right now. I'm going back to the beginning 14 years ago and paging it all out. I'm writing it has I remember it and once it's down I'm going to go back and edit stuff out that is too much info, and maybe jazz it up a bit, although my life back then was crazy and doesn't need much jazzing up. I was laughing because when my mom kicked me out of the house to go get drunk, I had already written 4 pages, and hadn't even made it to the prom yet. I think it's going to be very therapeutic, and I think once the past is completely behind me the past the present is going to be that much more clear. I had several ideas of non fiction pieces that I was going to go through. But this time I decided that I wanted to go with what was real. What was there, instead of twisting everything and trying to relay feelings in my writing. For once, I don 't want my anger down on the page, I don't want to go back and look at it. I want to accept it for what it is. Accept it and let it go, I can be angry at myself at the events at everything, but I have no control over those things so I'm letting it all go and moving forward. Alone. And I can do it. Because I'm a survivor, I'm a loving and caring person, I don't like hurting people, and that is all anger does. Peace Out!