Anger

     I am so angry.  I don't want to be angry anymore.  I don't want to feel like this, and I don't want to allow someone to have this much power over my emotions.  I have been royally fucked over, that's a fact, and I can't change that.  I know Karma has a way of cleaning up other people's messes and I truly believe that, so I can only hope she finds a way to redirect my pain in a suitable and non violent way.
    My overactive imagination and ability to hold a grudge is not my friend right now.  It seems in times like these it seems that it's not just a broken heart you are fighting off, but every single primal bad habit you have built inside you, all reasoning goes right out the window.  Even the fact that I keep mistyping letters because of the bandaids on my fingers is pissing me off,  I just want to take a deep breath and let it all go. 
    I don't want my friends inviting me on tagalongs like some sort of third wheel suicide prevention, I just want to find something to make me laugh, sleep it off, or eat a couple of cookies.  Not too many cookies because my ass is large enough the way it is, but that is an issue to address on another day.  I just need to find a way to refocus all of this pointless energy that keeps draining me emotionally.
    I've been here before, we all have.  And I have the same friends by my side who have picked me up and dusted me off, and that says a hell of alot about the company I keep, and I am lucky, and I love all of them for it.  I'll get through this, the tears will stop eventually, hopefully, and I'll move on to the next beautiful disaster waiting me in the future.