More Brain Droppings.

I just want to make sure that anyone who may read this understands, that the names of people have been left off for a reason. My blog is not meant to hurt or to attack anyone, it is meant for me to be able to get my feelings out in a healthy manner. I don't hate or have any ill will towards anyone. Thats what has made this all so hard to deal with. It's very hard to let go of something you love. Especially a situation that was as volatile as ours. There were so many ups and downs and uncertainties about the future, and about where we fit into each others lives. We were best friends. Well he was one of my best friends, and I hope that he looked at me as a good friend, although I know he only considers one person to be his best friend. It's hard to put a dead halt to something and to be completely cut out of someones life. There is always the earning to go back and forth and to try to fix things and to try to ease any pain that may exist, wither it be theirs or yours. I don't look for negative advise from people. I don't want people to tell me that he's an asshole or that he's playing games with me or that I'm better off without him. What I need is positive people who assure me that I am not alone, that they know how much I cared about him and that this will all pass over in time. So many times when a situation goes bad people feel that making the other person look like a monster solves the issue or eases the suffering, but it doesn't. Knowing that you have friends who care, and who understand is what eases the suffering. Knowing that he was not the end all of my life and that there is hope out there and that one day this will all blow over and I will be able to breathe just a little bit easier. I only know of one person in my life that actually reads this blog and she is a positive friend. She reaches out for me and lets me know that she cares and that she feels for me. She stays non judge mental and I appreciate her for that. My short conversation with her tonight made me feel so much better, and I hope that after a good night sleep I will feel rested and be able to gain a bit of perspective on my own life, which seems to have taken a seat beneath all this chaos surrounding me.