I AM So ANGRY!

I am so angry. Blind anger the kind that builds up until you just want to break something and then you end up crying until your eyes bleed. I thought that my life had gotten better. That things were really starting to straighten out, and it turns out that as long as there are other people involved my life will continue to fuck me repeatedly until I learn my lesson. And the thing I hate most about relationships is stepping back to evaluate what went wrong. Im the type of person that likes to take responsiblity for their actions to learn from their mistakes, and when you are being bombarded with blame from other people, it's sometimes hard to decifer what is truth and what is their own pile of crap they are trying to unload in an attempt to make themselves feel better. So here I sit with my now ex boyfriends cat who is loving me and trying to play with the keyboard as I type. And I'm angry for dragging on this charade for so long. For allowing myself to be played the fool. for believing all of his bullshit when I knew it would only come back to haunt me. When I knew that man particularly emotionally fucked men should never be trusted. So here I am angry alone, and about to cry myself asleep again, because it seems that I JUST CAN'T GET A FUCKING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!