Girls are so stupid...

So yes my ex who wants to be friends, has completely been banned from hanging out with me. Which is why I never see him and he only calls at two in the morning when everyone else is in bed. I guess I've never really been one for keeping people on chains. I always looked at leashes as a scream of insecurity. Of course I don't blame her, because when we are together we can't keep our hands of each other. But I think that says more about him then about her. The fact of the matter is the harder you pull the farther they will stray, and if it's not me it will be somebody else, and if they really had a strong relationship it wouldn't matter who he hung with. Of course I didn't care who he hung out with and he left me for one of his friends. I look at her as mostly a replacement, not so much a replacement but a shiny object to distract him so he doesn't turn back around. It's interesting how the power of thought even when it's ones own, can really cloud a persons mind. It has been a long weekend, The new job is going pretty good, I hung out with friends this weekend and had a blast I'm glad this is the last week of school and am going to start looking for an apartment. I really am over this. I don't have to work this hard to keep my other friends. Me and Brandon have been friends for 14 years because we have never failed to state loud and clearly that we are friends and thats the way it is. And I look at it like if the friendship is not worthing cementing in stone, then it's just not worth it. And if he doesn't think it's worth it, then why bother. I am so over all of this drama, I seriously am, I need to just move on and leave it all in the past. It will be hard to let some of the things go, but with pain comes renewal. And it is so true that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger, and I have shed so many tears, and thoughts, and words on this relationship, and I feel like I've been fighting for two years for an illusion that does not, did not, and never will exist.