Spontaneous

So I guess I've moved on to the spontaneous crying portion of my life.  Got in the car to go get fingerprinted, beautiful day, good jam on the radio and he just pops in my head and the tears start to fall and I start thinking of everything I did wrong, and everything I could have change, which would not have changed the outcome. 
I decided yesterday to let this go, that what was meant to be would be.  I have loved two other people in my life that I've had to let go, one of them went away and never came back which I am grateful for, because we were not meant to be and I knew that getting on that plane.  The second one has popped up from time to time, I've had my chance, I could have married him as recently as last year, but it is not meant to be, because in order for it to be I would have to climb down off my high horse and lower my standards for someone who would never love me, treat me, or be there for me in the way that I deserve.  So I'm letting go, and if that means I now spontaneously when least expecting, hopefully that means emotionally I'm pushing forward.