And it just keeps getting worse.

Friday was no better than Thursday and it has me terrible worried about what Saturday will hold. I'm stuck. I feel completely numb to everything around me. I feel that my brain has been on a complete hiatious and while everyone that cares about me keeps telling me how intelligent I am, and I say people that care, because those that don't seem to think I'm an idiot incapable of my own thoughts, anyways I feel like I have not actually used my brain in awhile. It seems like everything I cared about or should be caring about is slipping away and I would just assume watch it go then stop it. It's like standing back knowing you have complete control over a situation and refusing to do anything about it, not because of fear of the outcome or anything but simple because you don't care. I almost let someone walk out of my life today and I just kept thinking please just go because atleast it will save me the energy of having to care, and that is completely horrible. I didn't realy want the person to leave, but I knew at that moment that I would rather submit than fight. and I know that in a month I'll probablly feel fine and things will be great and my life will have moved forward but for right now I'm stuck in survival mode and it sucks for those around me looking for a little emotion.