Headed Down

I have no idea what comes next.  Things are tense and awkward and a little fucked up to say the least.  And I am sure I am not the first person to have to maneuver between a boyfriend and a mother, but I'm not sure if breaking up with him and calling off the wedding was the right thing to do.  Yesterday I was getting married and today I'm looking at all this crap wondering how the hell I'm going to pack it all up and where the hell I'm going to put it.  Things get so complicated so quickly and when everything is always your fault you constantly wonder why am I like this?  why do I do these things?  Why can't I just be happy with the way things are?  But then I get mad because I don't understand why people can't answer questions straight forward and honestly.  If I ask may I get a dog, if you hate dogs and the said dog is going to be the demise of the relationship then the answer would be No dear I don't think a dog is a good idea.  Not yes, lets get a dog.   Passive aggressive behavior, and a let of standards only meant for the other person.  The unwillingness to have a conversation about it.  I'm just frustrated, so fucking frustrated.