Venting so loud the walls are caving in.

So I stand here at another crossroad and I look back at my past and wonder if I am making the same mistake again. I spent 4 years with a guy who lied to me about everything down to what he ate for lunch. And I find myself in a situation where I don't know if an important male in my life is telling the truth or lying. Is what he says and does true or is every thing I see a work of fiction. I aks myself can I just be friends with this person? Do I allow my other friends to treat me this way? To disregard my feelings and my thoughts in the way that he does? Or am I at fault for subjecting myself to these situations. Have a walked back in to the same situation I was forced out of 3 years ago or am I just paranoid and reliving my poisoned past? Do I walk away and live with the question that maybe I was over analyzing everything? Or do I walk away trusting my gut instinct and be able to say I didn't let him play me the fool? Because thats what I feel like a big fucking fool. I turn around and people I don't even know are telling me about situations involving him and other girls that I was completely unaware of that he himself had assured me had never taken place. Am I back in Germany? Am I being tested? Is this the ultimate test, that I should trust my friend and what he says or do I run and keep myself from feeling all of this pain again, and how do I believe him? I mean truely believe him and everything he tells me, and how do I let go of the past and realize that we are just friends and that he doesn't owe me explanations for what he has done, and if I get to the point that I can let go of the past and everything in it, will he? Will he let go of my past? Because he hasn't, I am still punished for things that happened before I ever knew he existed. I'm just ranting, I'm angry and confused and I don't want advice or replies. I don't want people to tell me what an asshole he is just to make me feel better. These are just my thoughts as they are, and I have to sort through them and figure out how to move on to what is truely important in my life.