Age 26

So age 26 feels like it is truely kicking the shit out of me all the way to the end. Between graduation, and the month of April, the broken hearts I've endured over the last year, the enemies I have in advertently made. The new home, and new job, feeling lonely, feeling lost. Being sad, and learning how to truely survive, this year as been one hell of a year. I don't realy know where I am going. Two people have died in the last couple of weeks, one an uncle who although I didn't know very well, I remember fondly from being a child. The other my friends father, who always refered to me as daughter and although he wasn't around alot was still dad. My brother isn't speaking to me or anyone realy that I know of and I don't know why, and my mother keeps saying and doing all of the wrong things. My job sucks and is so stressful that today I was actually in tears. I was at the point I just couldn't take it anymore. I go up and down where I feel fine and then I stop and think and ask myself are you realy happy? Is this realy where you want to be in your life. And there are days when I think if I just had someone to love me, someone who would put there arms and me and tell me that I was theres and I was everything they ever wanted that it in itself would do it for me. But I don't realy believe you can be everything someone has every wanted, and I don't realy believe there is someone out there who can wake up in the morning and look at me and feel that I make them happy. But the thought is nice. I think the thought that there is someone anyone out there that wants you is a happy thought. I can only think that this year of my life is truely almost over and that hopefully on Thursday morning I will wake up and 27 will have a little more of something to offer.