I don't know why I even bother. Why I bother trying to make this a nice place to live. Why I try to make a stable environment for your children. And I say yours because you have made it very clear that they are not and nor do you want them to be mine. I try and try to give you the things you want and it's not good enough. Nothing is good enough for you. You act like you are completely numb to the world. Your response to my existence is robotic at most and I find myself wanting to beg for your attention. Only I'm not that desperate. So where does this leave us? Where does this leave me. Do I go on a shadow of your existence, letting your anger towards me build up. Letting you explode at me, because for once I can't keep it together. I don't know the answers to these questions, but something tells me I better find out quickly.