I don't know why I even bother. Why I bother trying to make this a nice place to live. Why I try to make a stable environment for your children. And I say yours because you have made it very clear that they are not and nor do you want them to be mine. I try and try to give you the things you want and it's not good enough. Nothing is good enough for you. You act like you are completely numb to the world. Your response to my existence is robotic at most and I find myself wanting to beg for your attention. Only I'm not that desperate. So where does this leave us? Where does this leave me. Do I go on a shadow of your existence, letting your anger towards me build up. Letting you explode at me, because for once I can't keep it together. I don't know the answers to these questions, but something tells me I better find out quickly.

“The 'not-giving-a-fuck' meter is as far into the red-zone as ever before.” Lars Ulrich

Came Across A Delightful Poem......

“Last night I had a revelation
Somehow I have to make you pay
It's all about manipulation
And what it takes to get my way
I don't believe in soft solutions
No one makes a fool of me
Without receiving retribution
No one hurts me and goes free

I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears
You'll never be the same, my friend
You're walking a line, it's a matter of time
You'll never rest easy again

I've got the power to bring you down

I've heard it said, to err is human
It's forgiveness that's divine
I thought about forgiving you, but
I want revenge, I want what's mine
I think it's time to settle scores now
It's time to set the record straight
You'll know it's coming, you won't know how
Or when, you'll have to watch and wait

I'll play on your fears, I'll leave you in tears
You'll never be the same, my friend
You're walking a line, it's a matter of time
You'll never rest easy again

I've got the power to bring you down

You know, it feels intoxicating
To be intimidating
It's invigorating
To see you shaking

I've got the power to bring you down

You know something, you see it coming,
You know I will stop at nothing.”

Red Delicious quote

The Female Condom

http://www.ringonit.org/index.php Click for a demonstration.

My question is. Is it fail proof against 4 inch acrylic nails?

I Don't Think I'll Ever Manage To Keep Up With This Thing.

I try and try to keep up with my blog. But it seems life just slips away from me, and the next thing I know it's been two days, or a week, or a few months. The unfortunate part is when I'm not blogging is usually when the things I should be blogging about are happening. The loss of a loved one, the search for a new job. The hopes of a new life. When I do sit down and am prepared to bare it all, I choke up and nothing I have to say is translated through my keyboard quite the way I would like for it to be. I'll keep at it. One day something interesting will come of it all. One day.

I think she's gotten a little ahead of herself.

I think she's gotten a little ahead of herself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjSG6z_13-Q

Quote of the month!

"I'm 31 years old
That ain't the end but it sure ain't where I began"

I did not manage to post one single thing during the month of April. I am such a slacker. Got a blackberry, love it! Totally addicted. So excited it's my birthday month I figure by the end of the month, I may be in my thirties, but my boyfriend will still be in his twenties and that makes me awesome!

I am sick. I have been sick for a week and a half. I feel like crap and have been watching Friends and playing Farm Frenzy. That's my update.

Spring portrait of the kids from yesterday, I am so pleased with the results. Had them done by Sondra Dietz of Leben Photography